Everybody Loves Frieza
by Smithback
Summary: Dodoria, Zarbon and all the soldiers at the service of Frieza have plenty of stories about their lord.
1. Chapter 1

Everybody Loves Frieza

Cravings

"«La vida se alimenta de la vida; es cruel, pero es la voluntad Divina." ANTHONY LEEUWENHOEK-cazadores de microbios

Tired, Dodoria rubbed his eyes. For the last few weeks, he had been looking for Frieza's last crabbing; finally he was able to 'find' it. now, he just wanted to deliver it, and hopped for his boss not to enter into another maddening craving phase, and if so, he just prayed for Zarbon or any other soldier were available.

Dodoria saw the package besides him in the small ship. In some more minutes he will land on Frieza's main ship and finally see his leader; he just he was in a good mood and liked his food.

How in the galactic hell did Frieza could ever think he could find unicorn eggs in tomato sauce?!

Unicorns, besides of been almost extinct in the universe, definitely do not come from eggs; yet, Frieza out of the blue got exactly that crabbing.

So, with some genetic ingenuity-((no)… with genetic engineering…, a little bit of luck, and a fake certificate of 'unicorn eggs', finally he got the 'delicious' damn dish. Now... it was yet to be seen if Frieza liked it.

Dodoria sighed. He had no chance. Well. Anyway, Life was overrated...

*Smithback notes:

Spanish is my native tongue, so if you see some mistakes let me know and I'll fix them.

Thanks, bye

04-30-2016

Dodoria, Zarbon and all the soldiers at the service of Frieza have plenty of stories about their lord.


	2. Pet

Pet

"Sit. Sit... Sit dawn..." I said, Sit... Sit¡ SIT DOWN!" SIT DAWN YOU DISGUSTING THING!" ordered Frieza. To his new pet, an adorable huge fungus, a lovely fluffy floating ball. It seems to be that Frieza did not know that his pet did not have legs or conscience to follow his orders.

"You dare to disobey your emperor! You disgusting ball of shit! Die!"

Frieza finished his innocent pet.

"Soldier Dodoria, bring me another pet, this time a blue one."

"Yes sir." Leaving Frieza's room, Dodoria arrived to a huge chamber at the bottom of the ship. There, several balls, just like the one Frieza killed were floating, but all of them were white and smaller.

"Finished?" Asked a tired Zarbon to his partner when he got into the chamber.

"He wants a blue one."

Zarbon sighed. "Fine, here is the paint, help me to do it faster."


	3. Uniform and Chapter 3

Uniform

«Hay una gran cantidad de mentiras dando vueltas por el mundo y lo peor es que la mitad son verdad» Winston Churchill.

At the secondary ship, tailoring-02

"Again?! But they were changed just one month ago! The soldier's uniform is practically new! How in hell does Frieza want it now?!"

"Blue with green stripes, just one red shoulder pad. Remember? As it used to be four uniforms ago..."

The designer sighed. "Please, tell me we still have some samples of that uniform."

The other man nodded, but said, "No," he smiled and winked with one of his four eyes. "No we do not have more. -It is a un fashioned design-" the tailor mimicked Frieza.

* extra

Long before the heroic story we all know about...

"So, Dodoria, give me the report, who died?" Asked Frieza. After a hard mission.

Lieutenant Rats, second commander Gérôme; soldiers Crocus, Sativus, Thymus and Pragma, Sir."

"What about Krillin?"

Dodoria checked his list. He had never heard that name before. "I am sorry sir, but, who?"

"I do not know, it sounds like a dead one... do not matter someone somewhere named Krillin must be dead."


	4. Chair

Chair

"Intenta sólo embrollar a los hombres; satisfacerlos es muy difícil..." Fausto

"Soldier Zarbon, did you notice the design of Sesasi chairs? Arrange it. I want one just like those ones."

Zarbon contained a frustrated grimace, Sesasi people do not have tails, and their chairs are very different from the ones that Frieza could use. Frieza definitely is not able to sit on a chair like that, no matter how fashionable they were. Zarbon pondered if telling this to his boss, if any way, at the end he was going to be punished and Frieza was going to get mad.

"Right now, Sir!" Sooner or later it was going to hurt... better to be late.

English is not my native tongue, so if you see some mistakes let me know and I'll fix them.


	5. Games

Board games

"La vida es cosa extraña pero, afortunadamente para mí, tengo un gran sentido del ridículo." Los días Del despertar

Zarbon, Dodoria, Ginyu and Frieza were sitting around a table, playing Frieza's favorite game, 'Galactic Monopoly'. Or at least that was what they were trying to do.

"And the fantastic Ginyu loses again against his marvelous master!" Said the captain every turn.

Long ago, Zarbon and Dodoria would have shared small gestures of nuisance; however, now they were to use to their play mattes eccentricities to have some reaction.

Once they back on the game.

"Then, it is 300..." said Zarbon when the emperor got to one of Zarbon's properties; but then he saw his expression. So... ""250…. ¿200…? 150…? 100… 50…? … Nothing? Resigned" he sighed. "The property is yours and I will pay you-"

"use of space: 100," declared Frieza. "Rights of selling: 100, use of resorces:extendidos… more or less 300," Freeza tapped on the table. " tax- for donation: 250, plus taxes regarding property: 500, taxes for each window : 1 real and four cents. But do not worry, good soldier, as I am a mercyful emperaror I will make you a 0.0001$%" descaunt."


	6. Books

Propper Readings

«A un libro exitoso no lo hace lo que incluye, sino lo que excluye» Mark Twain,

Freeza grimazed during his reading. "but what awful thins wrriters do now a days. They have no originallity, or good taste . how could they call themselfs wrriters?!"

"You did not like the reading, my Lord?" Asked Dodoria.

"Have you read this shit?" Freeza throw the book to the floor and prepared a small energy attack, with just a instant for Dodoria to see the name of the book, 'Wonderful Galactic Wizard of Oz'.

-Crap- yes he had read it. personally, Dodoria liked the book, and he could'nt see something wrong with it... but knowing his boss... "No sir, I have not read it yet."

They kill the poor witch! bought of them! that damn girl takes the shoes! that is not only disgusting but... but.. I whant those shoes! I should kill that awful girl that does not know how to obbey her betters" angry, Freeza stood and started walking one side to another. "what kind of moral do they teach kids now a days?!" how can they make a thieve the main character! the poor which at the begining had not done anything! They did not gave her a chance!" Frieza looked at his soldier."So?"

"sir?"

"What are you doing there?! go! bring me that disgusting author! I think I can give him better ideas and incentives to wrrite." Frieza's tail beaten the floor.

Dodoria started to sweep heavely. "I am trully sorry my Lord, but the author died long time ago."

the saurian clench his jaw. Dodoria was sure he was going to die soon.

out of the blue, Frieza changed his mood, ; now he seemed much more happier."Even better!" he said. "I will do it myself I will re-wrritte the book; then perhaps a play... "

Dodoria wanted to cry; the memories of the last play 'Alice in creepy wonderplanet' still provoqued him nightmares...


	7. illiterate

Illiterate

"Entre las angustias de los días que siguieron está el mayor de los suplicios: la inefabilidad. Jamás podré explicar lo que vi y conocí durante esas horas de impía exploración, por falta de símbolos y capacidad de sugerencia de los idiomas." H. P. Lovecraft

"Soldier Zarbon, I need for you to make a quick research. That poor man," Friezser was saying after a successful mission.

"The one you killed, sir?"

"No, that one was lucky; no, I mean the one we have just tortured few moments ago. I am afraid that that he said something I did not understand. He said something like 'mercy' or something like that. I am not sure what does it means. Look after it, won't you, it seems that is in fashion."

Zarbon wasn't sure if to cry or to laugh. "Yes sir, right now!"

*Smithback says:

Well… thanks a lot for reading… so far I have no reviews… it really really would be good for me if you left one. Tell me if you liked it or not; or if there is something I have to improve.

I hope you have enjoyed, bye


	8. Chapter 8Army

Frieza and his army have just land on a new fresh and ready for abuse planet.

Two huge armies facing to each other; Freiza above his army…

Then, from the planet's army "FRIEZA SUCKS!"

Frieza Force: *jaws drop to the ground. Bought armies were shocked…

Frieza… Frieza gets back to his ship crying like a little bitch.

No one ever had dared to do something like that before… but just like that… the planet was safe…

*Smithback:

Thanks a lot to 'Guest', Thanks for the review. I laughed a lot.


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